新航道

  上海新航道托福培訓小編特別整理了托福考試的詳情，這次給大家帶來了寫的關于2021年10月16日托福獨立寫作范文及解析。希望幫助考生對照文本更好的研究真題，充分備考，爭取理想成績，實現留學夢想。

  10月16日托福獨立寫作真題題目及范文

  Sometimes you are required to meet with another person to provide feedback about that person's work(for example,when you must give your opinions about a classmate's work on an assignment or your thoughts about a coworker's contribution to a project).When you have both positive and negative feedback to give about a person's work, do you believe it is more effective to give the positive comments first or the negative comments first? Why?

  范文：

  It is common today for classmates and colleagues to judge on each other's performance. Some people prefer to give negative feedback first just to prevent others from being too proud. However, from where I stand, in terms of the effect that the feedback exerts and the relationship with others. positive comments should come first before negative ones.

  本段解析

  開頭段先給出題目背景.緊接著點明反方觀點并說明一個理由。最后，轉折并給出本文的選擇。

  judge On v.根據..評判

  from where l stand 我認為

  in terms of 考慮到…

  exert effect v.施加影響

  Firstly, negative feedback will be better accepted if positive feedback is presented frst. Typically, people are in defense of their work.In face of sudden criticism, most of them may quickly think of ways to fight back with a strong will to show that their work has rmrtand that the criticism issiase. But positive comments may serve as a buffer; after being praised, people will be fully prepared to know more about what can be improved in their work. When I led a team to do biology experiments in high school, there was a boy who always pointed out my fault first.Every time when he blamed me for an imperfect plan without clear steps for every experiment, I explained that it was impossible to foresee every problem we might bumpinto and that he held prejudice. So, none of his suggestions was accepted, although he would list some of the advantages of my plan later.

  本段解析

  本段說明先進行正面反饋的第一個好處。論證中先給出鋪墊。緊接著以反證作為論證手段∶反證結束之后.再正向點題。例證以個人親身經歷為主。

  in defense of 保護

  in face of 面對

  merit n.優點

  biased adj. 有偏見的

  bufern.緩沖

  bump into V.遇到

  Secondly, presenting positive comments first is conducive to our interpersonal relationship. In fact, most people, whether their performance is good or not, have poured efforts into the assignment and tasks. Giving positive feedback before we point out mistakes and weaknesses is an indicator of our appreciation for others'hard work. Such appreciation renders their endeavor worthwhile,driving them to show gratitude for us, trust us and build up emotional ties with us. I harvested friendship with Anne just because I was the one who always gave applause for every single strength in her assignment-her well-articulated plan, her elaborate design and the clear layout. While I would point out the errors in the assignment later,she believed that I,compared wlth others who directy criticized her, was considerate and empathetic.

  本段解析∶

  本段給出先進行正面反饋的第二個好處。論證依然以鋪墊開始，后期扣題說明如果我們先給出正面反饋會有什么樣的效果。例證依然是個人事例。

  conducive adj.有益的

  pour efforts into 在..投入努力

  render V.使得

  endeavor n.努力

  gratitude n.感激

  emotional ties n.感情紐帶

  aplause n.喝彩

  well-articulated adj. 閘述清楚的

  empathetic adj.有同理心的

  Some may argue that criticism and suggestions will not be impressive if they come too late.The receivers of the feedback will abandon themselves in the positive comments, feeling good about themselves, rather than place emphasis on what they have not done right or well. But in fact, whether others will attach imporiance to our comments on the demerits of their work depends on whether they truly crave improvement.If they are eager to correct all the mistakes and eliminate all the problems, they will pay close attention to every word we say about their work.

  本段解析

  本段是讓步段，重點說明己方觀點可能會有的問題。稍加解釋后進行反駁，說明抨擊己方觀點的理由是不成立的。

  abandon oneself in v.沉浸于

  place emphasis on v.重視

  attach importance to v.重視

  demerit n.缺點

  crave v.渴望

  eliminate v.消除

  With the aforementioned points made,it can be drawn that positive feedback should be given before negative comments.

  本段解析∶

  aforementioned adj.上述的